well hello again....i know its been forever and im really trying to keep up but sometimes i just dont wanna express what im feeling....anyways today is perfect!!!
the day is dark and gray but im beamin....i love this weather...makes me want to change things in general....last night i had a moment while i was with my friend michelle and i had someone tell me "my future" a lot of it was somewhat true but the future stuff i do not know until it happens i guess...
but the guy in the gray sweater was interesting lol.....
anyways i am still working....im still a mom to a gorgeous boy who inspires me everyday....i am still being surrounded by amazing people who i am extremely grateful for....my home-life though sucks major ass...but we cant choose our families so im stuck....i am really trying to move out but things are just not aligning for that yet so maybe i should be patient until it happens....
j and i r civil and trying to see what happens but i think we both know that nothing will...there is too much animosity between us and i think there is also a hint of hate but who knows only time will tell....adorable and i r good friends....he really made me see the light i guess i hope hes happy and everything works out for him.....the gray sweater guy lol i know hes there somewhere....
anyways im having a lovely moment with thom (thom yorke) and hes really making my heart happy right now....his voice...the tone...the calmness...the words....the cries....i am loving it right now.....
so thats it for now...thanks again for "listening"
pz and luv
-m.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
kick in the ass
i kno it has been a LONG time since i've last written and since then ive come to the conclusion that im still going through the same circle of mass confusion =X
since my last posting a lot has changed...my son is absolutely beautiful hes three years old and total perfection....my relationship with his father is completely over and after much trying we can not be together...as to why i am writing today because i guess everything was "finalized " today... i dont really know how i feel but i guess things happen for a reason....
this summer has been a big deal for me because it's been a summer where ive surrounded myself with great people....i guess u can say that after falling out of love with j...i fell in love with love again because of "adorable" i am extremely grateful for the moments i have had with him and in another life i guess we r soul mates but right now we cant be....
so today after the crying, the sadness, the joy, and the whole weight lifted off of my shoulders....i received a kick in the ass....this is to really live my life for my son and myself and for once i have to put myself first not all the time but sometimes and now that im single im not gonna focus on the constant haggling of my best friend to find someone imma focus on me and my baby <3
its nice to be back....
xoxox,
monica
since my last posting a lot has changed...my son is absolutely beautiful hes three years old and total perfection....my relationship with his father is completely over and after much trying we can not be together...as to why i am writing today because i guess everything was "finalized " today... i dont really know how i feel but i guess things happen for a reason....
this summer has been a big deal for me because it's been a summer where ive surrounded myself with great people....i guess u can say that after falling out of love with j...i fell in love with love again because of "adorable" i am extremely grateful for the moments i have had with him and in another life i guess we r soul mates but right now we cant be....
so today after the crying, the sadness, the joy, and the whole weight lifted off of my shoulders....i received a kick in the ass....this is to really live my life for my son and myself and for once i have to put myself first not all the time but sometimes and now that im single im not gonna focus on the constant haggling of my best friend to find someone imma focus on me and my baby <3
its nice to be back....
xoxox,
monica
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Vacation....
i know its been FOREVER since i last blogged....a lot of things have happened....but now im looking toward the future!!!
im doing ok...working, school, still being a mom =] to an AWESOME almost 2 year old lol his bday is coming up july 18 and im so shocked to see the time fly by.....
my bday is coming up next month the big 26! lol
still living in ny...
i promise im going to write more...i missed u!
xoxoxox
im doing ok...working, school, still being a mom =] to an AWESOME almost 2 year old lol his bday is coming up july 18 and im so shocked to see the time fly by.....
my bday is coming up next month the big 26! lol
still living in ny...
i promise im going to write more...i missed u!
xoxoxox
Saturday, December 13, 2008
I'm way too sensitive....
Ok I know its been 5 weeks since my last posting but things have been happening....some good some bad....
But lately on my mind has been human rights.....particularly gay rights.....
I believe this week or last I watched the news and saw the case of a hispanic gay male who was badly beaten in BK by a group of guys because he was gay....he passed away.....
I watch the news and I always find something that really gets to me....but this got to me.....maybe its because I have best friends who are gay....maybe its because these kinds of actions make it harder for people to really be themselves....
All I know is that if something were to happen to my friends just because of who they were....I wouldn't know what to do....
Lets keep the love amongst each other....its hard to say but any lil bit helps....
That's all I have to say....have a goodnight and happy holidays.....
But lately on my mind has been human rights.....particularly gay rights.....
I believe this week or last I watched the news and saw the case of a hispanic gay male who was badly beaten in BK by a group of guys because he was gay....he passed away.....
I watch the news and I always find something that really gets to me....but this got to me.....maybe its because I have best friends who are gay....maybe its because these kinds of actions make it harder for people to really be themselves....
All I know is that if something were to happen to my friends just because of who they were....I wouldn't know what to do....
Lets keep the love amongst each other....its hard to say but any lil bit helps....
That's all I have to say....have a goodnight and happy holidays.....
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Obama!
this is our new president! i love it! i love this picture with his daughters....they look so happy and it warms my heart....
ive always liked him from the start...there was something about him...that gave me a high sense of hope...
to our future!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
recovery
i know its been a while since my last posting but honestly i havent been feelin like doing anything....
on monday, i had dental surgery....u guys need to know i have a terrrrible fear of dentists-like i hate the smell of it, the things they do, i just hate it...but i had a tooth that was killing me
so i went because when i took out my wisdom tooth before i recovered quite well.....
well......
not this time =/
its taken almost a week for me to look "back to normal" and i lost 11 lbs. my face was ultra swollen it was awful!
i missed halloween =/ but xavier was Frankenstein....
havent gone to school either =X so now i may be behind...ARGH!
anyways ill keep in touch....
xoxox
-monica
on monday, i had dental surgery....u guys need to know i have a terrrrible fear of dentists-like i hate the smell of it, the things they do, i just hate it...but i had a tooth that was killing me
so i went because when i took out my wisdom tooth before i recovered quite well.....
well......
not this time =/
its taken almost a week for me to look "back to normal" and i lost 11 lbs. my face was ultra swollen it was awful!
i missed halloween =/ but xavier was Frankenstein....
havent gone to school either =X so now i may be behind...ARGH!
anyways ill keep in touch....
xoxox
-monica
Friday, October 24, 2008
this fukkin recession
right now i am at a loss for words because ive never been one to have money troubles (only on occasions haha) but lately i have been in this financial hole that i really do not know what to do with myself....
i feel like i keep making payment after payment to loans, credit cards, phone bills, my "bank" and i get no where with any of them.....its so frustrating....
i literally wanna just cry and see if that will make me feel better because i really dont know what to do....
i recently got the opportunity to work somewhere else for like a MAJOR company and i am thinking about taking it but will the pay help i dont know i constantly feel like im running around in circles and i never get anywhere....
i guess whats important to me is that my son is fed...he has a clean ass....he has clean clothes and hes a happy baby
i just wanted to vent....
i had a nice dinner with u today keith....u r the freakin best!
xoxoxox
-monica
i feel like i keep making payment after payment to loans, credit cards, phone bills, my "bank" and i get no where with any of them.....its so frustrating....
i literally wanna just cry and see if that will make me feel better because i really dont know what to do....
i recently got the opportunity to work somewhere else for like a MAJOR company and i am thinking about taking it but will the pay help i dont know i constantly feel like im running around in circles and i never get anywhere....
i guess whats important to me is that my son is fed...he has a clean ass....he has clean clothes and hes a happy baby
i just wanted to vent....
i had a nice dinner with u today keith....u r the freakin best!
xoxoxox
-monica
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